A Class Challenges the Pigeon

Rules number one and two in class:  no food and no drink.  Students can have a water bottle or coffee/soda in a Dean-approved non-spill mug, but that's it.

Why?  I've heard the cleaners won't clean food spills unless the AF pays another $40,000 on the contract, but I can't verify that (cleaners?  you could have cadets do it for free).

But ultimately it doesn't matter:  a rule is a rule, and a crucial lesson the students must learn is to follow rules that seem absurd.  After all, it's the absurd rule broken in the field that could cost someone their life.

But every semester someone tries to break the food rules right under my nose.  My response is simple:  I don't yell, I don't issue platitudes, nor do I call their commanders.  I just take their food and drink and eat it as fast as possible right in front of them. Then I crumple the bottle, can or bag, throw it at them, and then make them clean it up.

Most students get the message.

Until last Friday, when I was writing on the board and I heard snickering behind me.  I turned around to see one of my students leaning back in his chair, eying me coolly.

With a two-liter bottle of Mountain Dew and a full sized bag of Potato chips on his desk.

A strong challenge calls for a strong response.

You could of heard a pin drop as my gaze slowly moved from student to bottle.  Everyone, EVERYONE, was waiting for a response.

I narrowed my eyes, told everyone to "hold that thought," and quickly bolted from the classroom. 

I went next door and bust into a fellow instructor's class.  I told him the dope, and he looked at his own students and said, "pack it up--we're going to the pigeon's classroom!"

I strode like the emperor back into my class, with another 20 or so spectators trailing behind me.  My class whooped and hollered!

I then threw off my camouflage jacket, grabbed the the Dew, and pounded the whole bottle in 2 minutes, 45 seconds.

Wiping my mouth on my sleeve, I crumpled the bottle, threw it at my student, leaned in real close to his face, and asked "who's your daddy?"  A huge belch followed.

The class went ape crazy!  To a student, they did not believe I'd do it.

I refused to eat the whole bag of potato chips, though... but the class was pleased enough with the Dew performance that they let it slide.

Oddly enough, aside from feeling like a water bed and having to pee four times in two hours, I didn't feel any worse for wear.  But the other instructor pulled me aside later and said I was already a cult hero in his class.

Knowing my luck, on the last day of class everyone's going to bring in a two liter!

And attached is the proof:  a picture taken by one of my students.  I came, I saw, I roosted!

Comments

[antitool]

Conversely, it's the stupid rule disregarded at the right time and in the right way that could cost an extra extremist asshole his life.

Still, way to handle the overt defiance. Let me guess: Core class, football player?

[The Mad Pigeon]

Indeed, this was in a core class (PS 311). Student's a swimmer, I think...

Regardless, the other day he said he's still incredulous--he fully expected to take the full bottle back to his room!

[MOGS]

...and that my friends, is a part of leadership. You have to have a bit of a "legend" built up when you're in charge of or standing up in front of large groups of people...

[Susan Eison]

U r insane!!! I was looking at ur facebook pix and had to follow the link to read the explanation for this... i bet ur students just love u.