Diary of the Mad Pigeon

An Old-School Look at USAFA

How things change, how things stay the same...

Download London_Times_USAFA_1973.pdf

Pigeontrack: Books for Soldiers

Found this over at From My Position... on the Way!:

Chuck writes: You may have heard of Books for Soldiers, a web-based troop support organization which has been around since 2003. There are somewhere around 1,000 active volunteers at any one time, from all over the country. It's yet another opportunity to do something tangible in support of our military men and women.

The site receives 700 to 1,000 requests for support from deployed troops each month, and volunteers do their best to fill the requests. Requests range from books of all sorts to all the usual sorts of care package items (DVDs, CDs, magazines, snacks, toiletries, pillows and blankets, hand warmers, etc.) to letters for troops who never receive mail from home. The BFS website is in a message board format—requests are received and posted by the site moderators/administrators, and the volunteers post replies with what they are sending. In this way we can avoid duplication and make sure that all requests get some replies and none are inundated.

They are at risk of shut-down due to costs to simply to run the website, and several months ago a notice was posted about a fund raising effort. The monthly costs are staggering (these are 2007 monthly averages):
--$1,600 for rent
--$277 for utilities
--$4,258 for IT services (server farm, hosting, bandwidth)
--$1,500 for IT maintenance contract
--$350 for security software license fees

CONTINUED

Speaking from personal experience, reading material in the field is an amazing morale booster.  Hopefully some of the Mad Pigeoneers will step in and help!

http://booksforsoldiers.com

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Teh MOGS on Military Competence

Anyone else want to add a category? I'll also provide an military acronym translation service for a small fee.

I'll have a bit of a go with this Pidge.

Retirement Riders: We also often refer to this one as "ROAD" or "Retired on Active Duty," and competent or not, it's just like it sounds. This individual is just biding their time, waiting for the day when they can put (ret) after their rank, and collect that long awaited pay dirt from Unca Sammy. Key identifying characteristics: a consistent air of "I'm too old/too good/too high ranking for this shit anymore," especially when it comes to things like cleaning up an office, getting evals turned in on time, maintaining situational awareness, and generally acting like you're goddamned privileged they turned up for work at all today. They'll be more than happy to Bullshit with you all day, especially reminding everyone of how great they used to be, but not do much in the way of actual work. There's a mysterious disappearance usually around the time of meetings or training sessions. At best, these folks are innocuous. No one really notices, or cares if they show up or not. Work isn't noticeably improved or degraded if they show up. In other words, they're perfectly tracked to just stop showing up one day, possibly finally freeing up that space for someone with a bit more spring in their step left. They may even occasionally drop little bits of wisdom you can use or, they "know where the bodies are buried," and can call in the occasional favor or what have you to get things done. At worst they're obstructionist, get in the way, or are bitter at some bad treatment from years ago or getting passed over for promotion that they're still taking it out on people...even when the original objects of ire left a long time ago too. Not be confused with "FIGMO" - Fuck It Got My Orders, where you can see many of the same characteristics but the individual is PCS'ing, moving jobs, or otherwise staying in.

Soldier-Airman: This is the kid who joined the wrong branch of the service. At worst, this person in an annoying wannabe, who deep down knows that as much as he or she might want to be or do something "more badass" than what they're doing now, they either had not the guts to try, or simply couldn't hack it. On the more sad, but less annoying side, you simply have the unfortunate case of someone who just chose poorly at life. They tend to be a bit obsessed with making the branch of service they do reside in a bit more like the one they wish they were in, for better or worse. I'm not going to argue that perhaps the Air Force has a few things it could learn from the other branches, but I think the reverse is true too. What this individual usually needs in order to shine is a vector towards career fields a little more "huah" and ones that they'll find more interesting. Some guys should have been officers when they were enlisted, and to be honest, some officers should have been enlisted, at least for a couple years. Case in point, there were no CROs (Combat Rescue Officers) when I commissioned, and I always thought Combat Camera would have been a good fit for me on the E-side. Also, unless they are prior-enlisted, there are no permanent officer ETACs (Terminal Attack Controllers). Soldier-Airman tends towards high competence but variable motivation. Their motivation seems to depend on where the particular task, TDY, or deployment you want them to go on falls within their personal matrix of bad-assness.

The College-Student-Who-Hasn't-Figured-Out-He's-In-The-Military-Yet: We all know this one. The competence/motivation markers can be all the map here too, but some defining characteristics: they're attitude is mostly formed by a remarkable self-centeredness: "I may be a one/two/three striper or butterbar, but what can YOU do for ME captain/tech sergeant/COLONEL." Odds on are great that this kid is academically brilliant (or at least enough of a gamesman to know exactly how to get the high marks and APPEAR smart), but has the self-discipline, maturity, and common sense of a mallet. Tends to be a real bucket when it comes to menial tasks that need to get done, but this one thinks is far below his station in life. A TREMENDOUS sense of entitlement. Aka and much easier to spell out: "The Swofford" or "The Beauchamp."

The Armchair General: Again, not so much a category of competence but annoyance - file this one under the "I can run the Air Force or even DoD better than the guys doing it right now...." not rank specific. Chalk this up to simply being argumentative Americans, but it becomes a problem if said individual spends more time Monday Morning QB'ing the current leadership than focusing on their own job.

More when I think of them.

The Pigeon on Military Competence

The War on Big Tobacco via Ranger Up:  I think about SSG BitchTits as we run. He is the kind of NCO  who always seems very... sweaty. He constantly seems busy, but never seems to get much done. He is a man who holds several MOSes : Administrative Assistant, NBC NCO, Commo and Medic but he never seemed to be good at any of them.

It was almost as if SSG BitchTits was very hard working, but incredibly incompetent. This is where the idea of the Incompetence Matrix formed in my mind. As I ran, I pictured the cubes falling into place:

There are soldiers who are hard working and competent. These soldiers are the "Squared Away" block. They know what they are doing, and they do it well.

There are soldiers who aren't hard working but competent. These soldiers know what they are doing, but never get around to doing it. The least you can say is that they don't screw anything up, but if they get up off their ass and do their job, at least they do it well. This is the "Lazy" group.

Then there are soldiers who are incompetent, but lazy. These are known as the "Unskilled," These soldiers don't know what they are doing and are too lazy to do it. They could theoretically screw something up, but they never do any work. This means that the risk of them screwing something up is higher than the lazy or squared away group.

Finally there is SSG BitchTits: A man who is not only incompetent, but industrious. He does not know what he is doing and he works hard at doing it. Soldiers like this create the perfect storm of fuckups within an organization and leave a trail of exasperated NCOs in their wake.  CONTINUED

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Even if you're NOT in the military, I'm sure the above case studies ring a bell.  What makes the post even funnier (in a tragic sort of way) is they're so, so true.

Military recruitment adverts make it look like the services are filled with "squared away" troops:  experts at their jobs, perfect teeth, get by on 3 hours of sleep a night.  Isn't the case, unfortunately, but trust me, every unit has a handful these stellar specimens.

Admittedly, I started my military carer in the "aren't hard working but competent" category.  All I wanted to to everyday was show up, do my job to minimum efficiency, and go home to roost.  It took a few wake up calls from my platoon sergeant for me to realize my military career could be so much more fulfilling if I simply applied myself.  She was 100% correct, and I owe that advice to my reasonably successful career path (dumb @$$ Army Specialist to USAF Major select and assistant professor at USAFA ain't too shabby).

BitchTits?  Seen plenty of those.  What makes 'em so sad is they have so much experience to offer.  Perhaps they really don't suck, and it's a case of them being given too much breadth and not enough depth.  Take away some of Staff Sergeant BitchTits's additional duties and he might just shine by focusing on one.

In my case, I've had my worst experiences with the "lazy and incompetent" category.  These are the folks you can't trust with anything.  They're liabilities to themselves and their buddies.  These guys fall into the 10/90 rule:  10% of your troops will take up 90% of your time.  I know, because I've been there; indeed, I've helped two of these folks become "civilians below the zone" (i.e. kicked out) because they simply were not fit for duty.

I'd like to add three categories, though:

Gomers:  Incompetent, not as industrious as a BitchTits, but more willing to work than the lazy guy.  I almost like working with these folks, because they're like coal or clay, with a diamond or sculpture waiting to get out.  Pair a gomer up with a "squared away" supervisor and he just might turn him around.

Cinders:  These were former squared away leaders, but since the reward for good work is usually more work, sometimes you can simply burn a guy out.  You can also create cinders by giving them too many "lazy and incompetent" folks to fix, poor morale, and a bad chain of command.  A good "squared away" troop will be the one who rises through the ranks and ensures optimal conditions exist to breed more squared away troops, but I've been in situations where the overall unit climate was so poor the "squared away" troops simply decided to get out. 

Want to keep good soldiers, sailors, marines, and airmen?  Give 'em a reason to stay.

Retirement Riders:  A special category of, "lazy, but competent"  Can start from any category (although hopefully the "lazy and incompetent guy" didn't make it this far) but is now so close to retirement they turn into that singing frog from Looney Toons.  That is, no matter how much you prod and poke them they no longer respond to stimulus.  This also happens to folks getting ready to move to another base or separate from the service.

Anyone else want to add a category?  I'll also provide an military acronym translation service for a small fee.

Thursday Open Roost

Have a post to share?  Trackback it here!  Remember I have to manually approve trackbacks, so there will be a delay before I add your ping to the list:

Racism and Feminism in America: The sad truth from Leaning Straight Up
1 Oct 2008: Martial Law In America! from Democrat=Socialist
Rep. Alcee Hastings(S) Speaks To Jews Blacks from Democrat=Socialist
John McCain responds to the financial crisis from Mark My Words
Obscene Sickening Email! from Democrat=Socialist
Burning Down The House: What Caused Our Economic Crisis? from Blog @ MoreWhat.com
Sen. McCain Suspended Campaign, We Did Not from Rosemary's Thoughts
Whats The Holdup On The Bailout? from Democrat=Socialist
speech under fire from walls of the city
MUST SEE: Divest From Israel, Live in a Cave from Wingless
The financial crisis goes viral from Mark My Words
Katie Couric Edited Interview to Make Palin Look Bad from The Pink Flamingo
Burning Down the House: The Meltdown Video from Beagle Scout
Presidential Rumble #1 from Democrat=Socialist
Icarus Redeemed from Beagle Scout
Jen Hall, a walking miracle; needs our help from Cao's Blog
The Scary Part Is He's Serious from Democrat=Socialist
THE HOUSES THAT RUBES BUILT from Right Truth
Missouri Truth Squads Enlist Prosecutors, Law Enforcement, to Persecute anti-Obama Advertisers from Beagle Scout
How Many Passes Does Obama Get? from Democrat=Socialist
As our markets burn the Democrats fiddle from Mark My Words
Barack Obama v. Freedom of Speech from Adam's Blog
Messiah Claims Credit For Bailout Progress from Democrat=Socialist
Me and The Girl vs. High School Social Studies from Conservative Cat
4.28 Billion Year Old Rock from Pirate's Cove
Geert Wilders: Man of the Hour from Woman Honor Thyself
Style versus substance from Leaning Straight Up
I'm Using Zemanta from Democrat=Socialist
Breaking: Bailout bill fails from Right Voices
Financial bailout fails in the House from Mark My Words
More Gov. Palin Bashing from Democrat=Socialist

Want to participate?  You can read the rules here, and a discourse on the point of open trackback sessions here.

Don't have trackback capability, or just want to submit a link you found?  Put your link in the comments section or email me at thebigpigeon-at-yahoo.com, and I'll add your submission to the list!

The Pigeon Spends some Time in the Emergency Room

I think it all started when I the doc gave me Topamax for my headaches.  The medicine hasn't actually done anything for the pain, but it's made me loopy and irritable.

That is, until I upped the dosage last Friday--that's when things REALLY got interesting!

First, I woke up in the the wee hours of Saturday morning with ringing in my ears and feeling like I was flying over my bed.  An interesting feeling, actually... but my head still hurt. 

But the feeling wasn't so good while trying to grade papers on Saturday--there I was, red pen in hand, trying to grade with my usual headache while also feeling high.  I graded 23 papers, but decided to sit on 'em over the weekend and give my notes a re-look this week.

Sunday?  Same thing.  Fast forward to Monday.

Yesterday afternoon my headache jumped from a 3 to a 6 on the pain scale, but this time I felt feverish.  In addition, my fingers and toes tingled, my skin was on fire, and my whole face felt like I was coming off a Novocaine shot--that is, all the inconveniences and none of the benefits of said shots.  I'd planned on heading out for a long run, but thinking I was actually coming down with a bug  I just went straight home after work.  I still felt flushed when I hit the sack, but I slept fine.

But I felt like a wet carpet this morning--went in feeling numb in the face and extremities, but with fire behind my left eye:  plus, I felt like there was something living inside my head.  I'm "used" to having headaches, but I'd never felt like this before.

I went down to the cadet clinic to get my temperature checked:  normal.  When I told the medic I was on medication and described my symptoms, he said, "Captain, you need to go to the acute care clinic. Now."

But being a typical male pigeon--working bird with a schedule, thinks hospitals are creepy, foul places--I decided to head back to the office and talk to my boss first to see what he thought (plus, I wanted to finish my coffee).

While waiting for the elevator, I ran into a colleague from another department.  She asked how I was doing, I told her I've had better days...

...and as the elevator started to rise I almost collapsed in the elevator.

That was it.  She said, "Pidge, this is serious.  We're going to the clinic. I'll drive.  You're schedule can wait."  Keep in mind this poor lady had just arrived to work and had her perishable lunch in a bag.

Long story short, the acute care clinic heard my story and escalated the issue:  "dude, you need to get to the emergency room."

So there I was... first time I've ever been admitted to an emergency room.  EVER.  Backless gown an all.  The docs ordered an immediate CT scan (quicker than calling up my results from base), drew blood, and hooked me up to 20 different biorythmic machines.  My boss was notified and my wife was called (she drove up and with heartfelt thanks took over watch from my colleague).  The nicest touch was the IV with a shot of Valium.

On one hand, I felt like it was an awful amount of effort for what started as a quick trip to get my temperature checked, but on the other hand it was nice to get some decisive work on my head.  I mean, you should've seen the look on the emergency room doc's face when she asked, "so... how long have you had this headache?" and I replied, "off and on since I was 6, but full time for the past 4 years or so."  She was double incredulous that no doctor prior to my current provider ever ordered a CT scan.  Hell, I've had military docs in the past all but say, "take some aspirin and stop wasting my time."  My new Doc?  I think she's being a little conservative, but ultimately I think she gives a [PIGEONED]; after all, she's done wonders for my back problems.

Well?  What's the punch line?  Glad you asked.

THE BAD NEWS FIRST:

The docs think what got me into a pickle was a #6 headache in combination with really bad Topamax side effects (for what it's worth, based on my symptoms the first thing the docs checked my CT scan for was if I had a stroke).  Needless to say, I've been taken off the Tope effective immediately.

I don't feel any better now than I did when I went in to get my temperature checked this morning.  The odd thing is I don't know if it's pain--it's more akin to fire, or ice.  Or both.   

So how the hell can I write?  That's a good question.  I'm certainly not at work right now--in fact, I almost DID go back to work, but my boss said I'd of been turned away at the door.  What bothers me the most about these headaches is how they affect my critical thinking.  For example, I can write on this topic because it's so immediate, but if tried to write a piece on the current financial crisis (which I'd like to do) my pain might notch up to a level 8--and a level 8,  my friends, is totally incapacitating (i.e. watching "Cartoon Network" is too intellectual at that point). 

In the best case the pain is slowing me down intellectually, both at home and at work.  Grading becomes a strain.  Working on my book literally hurts.  Not much fun.  Worst case, being deployed to a combat zone and making life and death decisions while not on my "A" game.

My coffee is still on my desk at work, dag nabbit!

THE GOOD NEWS:

The CT scan results are in:  they don't say what's wrong with me, but they do say what ISN'T wrong with me--no tumors, fluids, strokes, lesions, or other life-threatening conditions.  Yes, the pain is real, but now the docs are 99% sure it's structure based and not an underlying illness.

I'm getting specialized treatment.  The civilian docs refereed me to a neurologist in town, someone who can diagnose the cause and find the right treatment.  It'll be about two weeks before I can get an appointment, so for the time being I'm be prescribed Vicodin for evening pain and a low-drowsiness muscle relaxant.

As for my schedule, as soon as the boss was notified he stepped in to help.  My meeting this afternoon?  Someone else offered to go.  My classes tomorrow?  Other instructors volunteered to cover them (yes, my department head told me to stay home tomorrow "just in case").  Hell, it all started because one colleague cared enough to drop what she was doing and spend almost two hours with me to make sure I was okay (remember her perishable lunch?  A casualty of today's escapade).

Needless to say, I'm roosting comfortably at home now.  The Hummingbird picked up my prescriptions for me, a, colleague is grabbing a few things out of my office and bringing 'em by, and in a few hours I'll be trying a new muscle relaxant.

What the moral of story?  If you feel feverish, go get your temperature checked.  And if the doc recommends acute care, don't wait 'til you collapse in an elevator!

Psychology of Voting Behavior Survey

Yes, this survey's legit.  I'm spreading it in the name of good ol' fashioned sample sizing and doing my part to harness the power of Web 2.0 for the sake of academia:

Dear Mad Pigeon,

I am writing you as a colleague from the international society of political psychology.

Together with Nicole Harth and Robert Böhm we are investigating the psychological background of voting behavior. I have just launched a web-based survey on the Presidential Elections and the primaries in the US.

(see the announcement on http://ispp.org/announcements.html)

It would be a great help for us if you (resp. your students) participated in our study.  It is of course anonymous and will take approximately 10 minutes.

After the completion the respondents get a concise feedback and the chance to win one of three amazon gift-certificates.

If you are teaching courses in psychology, sociology, political sciences (or related sciences) you could consider encouraging your students to take part. If you want that your students get credit points for participation, just contact me. Then I can set up the study in a way that e.g. a course-number is printed in a mail to the respondents.

Click here to participate: http://ww3.unipark.de/uc/president/?a=34

Of course you can share the link with your friends and colleagues.  The more people participate, the better will be the data basis for our analyses.

Now Someone Needs to Give ME free Publicity...

Just after I posted the "Pearls before Swine" comic, my daughter asked, "what does Garfield's Lasagna have to do with Russian expansionism?"

I couldn't answer her question, of course (maybe MOGS or Antitool can), but to distract her I replied, "have you ever seen Garfield minus Garfield?"

"Eh, no."  She said.

See for yourself.  Absolutely sublime.

http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/

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Culled from the Comics Pages

I'll never look at Hagar the Horrible the same way again...

(Pearls before Swine, by Stephan Pastis)

Banking on Becoming President

From a colleague:  Excellent web site for current data on campaigns and interest groups.  It's put out by the "Center for Responsive Politics". 

http://www.opensecrets.org/pres08/index.php

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