Diary of the Mad Pigeon

Ten Rules?

I always find posts like this amusing.

Now for some commentary.

1. Thou Shalt Learn to Enjoy Whisk(e)y - no argument there

2. There is No Such Thing as a “Chocolate Martini” - damn skippy

3. Thou Shalt Not Drink a Frozen Drink - amen

4. Thou Shalt Not Consume Drinks With Idiotic Gimmicky Names Meant to Cover Up How Girly They Are - The longer the name, the dumber, less manly, wussier, and fruitier they are. Don't let your friends ever see you drink one, you'll never (deservedly) hear the end of it. Sorry ladies, names like "Sex on the Beach" or "Screaming Virgin Up Against the Wall" and are not impressive, no matter how hard you try to justify it. Keep ridin' on the metro there...

5. Thou Shalt Learn to Appreciate All Forms of Beer - Disagree. My travels have made me a complete beer snob. Crap is crap.

6. No Worthwhile Woman Will Ever Be Impressed With How Much You Can Drink - Very true. Unfortunately, most don't figure this out until your mid-to-late twenties, some fortunate souls figure it out right away.

7. It’s More Than Okay to Drink Wine - Also very true

8. It’s Worth it to Learn the Rules and Traditions of the Drinking World Before You Go Out Into the Wild (and Make an Ass Out of Yourself) - This is where your choice of friends comes into play. Choose wisely.

9. The Way You Treat Bartenders and Waitstaff Says More About You Than You Know - Especially if you plan on being a repeat visitor.

10. Any Free Drink is a Good Drink - Absolutely NOT. I would rather agree with 5 before I agree with this. The only time a free drink is good is if it's good, even if your best friend made it. Speaking of, in public settings with lots of people you don't know ladies (and guys too believe it or not), that free drink from a stranger or that was left out might have a little surprise in it, and that ain't good. If you don't know where it came from, don't drink it.

MOGS adds:

11. Get a cab. Period. Swallowed pride and being out a couple bucks is better than the alternative.

"Open That Bottle Night," Saturday 23 Feb!

On Saturday night, Feb. 23, Carolyn Pearce of Kerrville, Texas, is finally going to open a bottle of wine she calls "Nancy."

What are you going to open for this year's Open That Bottle Night? Share your plans. Plus, see a calendar of events.It's a Corbett Canyon Chardonnay that was served at a salute to Nancy Reagan during the Republican National Convention in New Orleans in 1988. After the event, a Secret Service agent gave two bottles of the wine, specially marked for the occasion, to his girlfriend and her roommate, who were both medical residents at the time. The girlfriend soon opened the wine and forgot it, but the roommate, Dr. Pearce, saved it. And saved it. And saved it. Next month, Dr. Pearce and her husband will open the wine to have with Caesar salad, scallop risotto -- and, if needed, a backup bottle.

After all these years, what finally has moved Dr. Pearce? Feb. 23 is Open That Bottle Night 9, when all of us, world-wide, finally uncork our own "Nancy" wines and celebrate the memories that flow from these cherished bottles that have always seemed too precious to drink.

Imagine if an evil genie took some of your very best memories and hid them in a wine bottle. That's what so many of us do to ourselves. These dear bottles have a special way of retrieving warm and often-forgotten memories, but you have to pop the cork to release them. That's why we invented Open That Bottle Night. So very many of us have that special bottle -- from a departed loved one, from a visit to a winery, from a vacation -- that we're always going to open for just the right moment, but, of course, that moment never comes. So the wine sits and sits and sits and becomes more and more precious, so it sits and sits some more.

(The rest of the article is available to Wall Street Journal subscribers only, but if you want me to email you a 7-day access link drop me a line at thebigpigeon-at-yahoo.com)

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I probably should be pontificating on the satellite shoot down, but I figured it was time for an upbeat post!

As mentioned numerous times, I'm not a huge wine drinker:  I might drink 4-5 glasses a year, and usually at a restaurant or party.  I've ruined more bottles by letting them sit for months between openings.

That said, I don't see why I can't pass this holiday along to my readers, or why I can't recommend other special libations.  To wit, a neighbor bought me a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Scotch Whiskey when he learned I was selected for promotion.  For those of you who aren't whiskey fans, Blue ain't some cheap rot gut--it's a blend of scotches up to 50 years old and runs a low 3 figures a bottle.

And the taste?  I've had one tumbler in my life, and if I close my eyes and find my happy place, I can STILL taste it!

Needless to say, the gift means a lot... but I'm also reluctant to open it; I mean, each sip is probably worth a dollar (but what a fine dollar it is). 

In my case, though, I've already planned an opening date:  the first neighborhood barbecue of the season, or roughly April-May time frame.  We'll typically sit around in the garage 'til the wee hours of the morning, talking everything from politics, to music, to religion, to topics typically not fit for discussion among supposedly mature 30-somethings.

But what about you?  Do you have that special bottle sitting lonely, pouty and watery-eyed in the corner?  If so, then I highly recommend you invite some friends and family over tomorrow evening! 

And remember, the roosting arts are not for the faint of heart.

Raising Prices Enhances Wine Sales

AP:  Apparently, raising the price really does make the wine taste better.

At least that seems to be the result of a taste test. The part of the brain that reacts to a pleasant experience responded more strongly to pricey wines than cheap ones — even when tasters were given the same vintage in disguise.  CONTINUED

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I'll admit I've fallen for this phenomenon--primarily because I'm not a wine drinker.

Beer, whiskey and rum:  those are my favorite spirits of choice.  Give me a good pilsner glass or tumbler and I'll revel in the pouring, the flavors, the aromas of a good ale, Isle malt or cane.  I read about their histories with pleasure, and pore over their brewing and distilling processes.  It's all part of the rich culinary subset of the roosting arts.

But wine?  It all tastes like sour fruit juice to me.  Sometimes I wonder if people drink it just because it makes 'em look hip and sophisticated.

That's not a fair judgment, though.  A true aficionado treats wine with the same reverence and ritual that I do with sour mash.  I simply can't make out the varied flavors of wine, so my palette thinks wine drinkers pontificate over vintages simply because everyone else is.  Someone pass me the brie, will ya?

All that said, when I must purposely shop for wine, I'm lost, and typically wander aimlessly up and down the regional isles.  Thus I do what any other good non-wine drinker would do in such a situation:  I look for high ratings, cool labels, and price.  And corks over screw tops, of course (although I've read some good vineyards are now doing away with corks).

I'll stick with styles I can pronounce with reasonable clarity and dignity, like chardonnay and merlot (hard "t", right?).  I'll skip anything without a fancy-pants review tacked on the shelf ("...good nose, with hints of vanilla and shoe leather..."), and 87 points or better sounds like a good grade, too.

I'll pass on the pompous, boring labels, though, like pastel-drawn Tuscany villas with names like, "Sonoma Napa Woodbridge Select Reserve," and hone in on the labels festooned with cartoon characters and odd names like "Toasted Head" or "47 Pound Rooster" (yes, those are real wines).

But price... good wine's supposed to be expensive, isn't it?  I mean, back in my fraternity days we'd say, "I'll drink no wine above $1.99," so I imagine the good stuff is at least two bucks (throw in an extra buck for a paper bag).  Thus not knowing any better, if all things are otherwise equal between wines I'll go for the pricier one.  After all, I can definitely taste a difference between whiskey ages, and you certainly pay for the extra years.  So why wouldn't it be any different with wine?

Any wine drinkers out there want to help me out here?

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Trackposted to Outside the Beltway, The Virtuous Republic, Mark My Words, Rosemary's Thoughts, Adam's Blog, Shadowscope, Big Dog's Weblog, Conservative Cat, third world county, Allie is Wired, DragonLady's World, The World According to Carl, Blue Star Chronicles, Pirate's Cove, Celebrity Smack, The Pink Flamingo, Right Voices, and Stageleft, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

The Hottest Hot Wings in America?

Man, what I've give to try a dozen of these (remember, I looove spicy food!  Check this and this out to refresh your memory):

Reuters:  A Chicago tavern said on Thursday it will begin selling chicken wings coated in one of the world's hottest peppers -- a dish so hot that patrons first have to sign a waiver agreeing not to sue for injuries.

Jake Melnick's Corner Tap said the wings made with Red Savina pepper will be served with an alarm bell for patrons to summon waiters with sour cream, milk sugar and white bread if things get out of hand.  CONTINUED

The Wizard Series Part I: An Analog Wizard in a Digital World

I want to be an analog wizard.

That succinct phrase came to me on my 35th birthday, the day I finally figured out what I want to do with my life following my Air Force career.

"What do you mean by wizard,"  You ask?  Hold that thought for now.

Everyone asks about their own purpose in life.  I've been asking since August 1990, mere days before I started college, during a trip to Pennsylvania Amish country.  During the trip my friends and I had a pleasant encounter with some Amish teens roughly our age, and it was the encounter that led me to ask myself, "is my purpose in life to be happy regardless, or is my purpose to find happiness in abject success?"

Arguably the whole problem started as early as high school, when this self-described "B-type with a work ethic" ended up in a Magnet high school surrounded by high-achieving A-types.  I've always believed A-type behavior is the quick road to unhappiness and death, but my philosophy served me no good when I was getting thrashed academically and creatively by my peers.  I mean, my laid back attitude combined with a "measure once, cut once" approach to school (i.e. I never studied more than I felt necessary) set me up well for college, but compared to the driven 1600 SAT types I was lowbrow.

Furthermore, when I thought college, I thought "what will I be happy doing?"  Meanwhile, my peers were asking, "how do I earn money?"

I picked history, while my peers went to pre-med, economics, business, communication, and comp sci.

I loved studying history, learning the grand tapestry of human achievements, the research over pots of coffee, the smell of old, dusty books and the the feel of artifacts. Thankfully, what I learned about research and detail has served me well in the military, and I think I'm well-compensated for my work.

Meanwhile, my peers went off to be doctors, lawyers, economists, programmers, and creative types, and are doing very well for themselves (such as that Sergey Brin guy). 

So if I'm happy and I don't grudge my peers, what's the problem?

I'm still analog in a digital world.

By choosing personal happiness over marketable skills, I' started worrying about my future. I can retire in 6 1/2 years, but there's not much of a market (that I can tell) for people with my experience unless I'm in Washington D.C., Colorado Springs CO, or San Antonio TX. 

I don't want to live the rest of my life in any of those places.

Periodically I'd search Monster, USA Jobs, Clearance Jobs, and even Oregon Jobs (the state where I want to retire), but the jobs were all the same:  they wanted people with digital skills.  Programmers, database admins, program managers, MBAs, Medical and Law school grads.  I'm obsolete.

It doesn't help that I'm still applying for a USAFA-sponsored PhD.  For me that's the pinnacle of my professional dream, and a full ride is so close I can taste it.  It'll also incur some more service time, extending my career another 10 years.  But then what?  I'll still be facing the thrall of the digital world with an analog degree.

However, every time I consider expanding my skillset--taking courses, starting an MBA, even starting a new Bachelors--the little voice in my head asks, "why?  Is it to make you happy, or just to make you feel secure and earn you more money?" 

I want to be happy, but when you have a family with a mouse who starts hight school next year the latter question is a strong motivator.

But look at me as a person, too.  My longtime readers know I eschew many digital conveniences.  I don't carry a cellphone, I barely watch TV, have a kitchen of mostly hand-powered tools (we didn't have a microwave for 7 years.  By choice.  Alas, this house came with one).  I don't get the hoopla over the iPod and iPhone, don't want to be wired in 24 hours a day, I read the newspaper daily (yes, paper) and will cry the day books are replaced by silicon.  A colleague questioned my sanity when I started blacksmith classes.  And the ultimate irony, I love my research on virtual worlds but don't actually enjoy playing in them.  Blogging is the only Web 2.0 application I enjoy, mostly because it's simple and it's for showcasing my analog thoughts, not my digital prowess. 

In other words, I'm also decidedly analog on a personal level.

And that's when it hit me:  "I want to be an analog wizard."

Maybe it's because I turned 35, maybe it was an early New Year's resolution, maybe all the thinking and pondering finally paid off.

Or maybe it was the moment I realized I want to be happy and don't want to learn a new skillset just to make a buck. 

I want to expand on the skills I already have and cherish and forge my own trail (pardon the blacksmithing pun).  I want to write books and build worlds,  I want to rekindle my old passion for art, I want to create objects from wood, fire and metal.  While the rest of the world rapidly morphs into a distributed, download-ready media experience, I want to remember what it's like to create singular objects one can experience with all five senses (or six, if you wish).

I want to make the life I want--indeed, the life the Hummingbird wants me to have and share with me--and damned my own or society's preconceived notions of what "rich" is.

Or as I always like to say, "when I die and my life flashes before my eyes, I don't want to see the inside of a cubicle."

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Trackposted to Outside the Beltway, Rosemary's Thoughts, 123beta, DragonLady's World, The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns, Adam's Blog, Right Truth, Shadowscope, Pirate's Cove, The Pink Flamingo, Celebrity Smack, The Amboy Times, Big Dog's Weblog, Cao's Blog, Leaning Straight Up, Gulf Coast Hurricane Tracker, and Church and State, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

Response to Reader Comments

Many thanks for your kind words on my promotion!  That said, I'd like to respond to two questions posed in the comments:

Winter writes:  Congratulations, old bean. And how about having your paper hand-delivered to Lord British, eh?

The Mad Pigeon:  Talk about a helluva birthday present (besides getting selection for Major, of course).  Remember that paper I slave over all summer?  (if you don't, here's the link).  My brother Winter gave a copy to Richard Garriott, AKA Lord British.  This is the who developed the first Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game:  1997's Ultima Online.  He's also the brainchild behind the entire Ultima RPG line and the recently releases Tabula Rasa.

In other words, the guy's a friggin' legend.  And my bro' gives him my research over a beer.  I could've climbed through the phone and given my brother a hug!  And another beer.

Speaking of beer, I celebrated with the birthday gift the Hummingbird got me--check this out!

And to top it all off, my neighbor came by yesterday to give me a bottle of this.  For those of you who don't like whiskey, I'll put it this way: I haven't had Johnnie Walker Blue since last February... and when I close my eyes, meditate and find my happy place, I can still taste it.

I'll get my neighbor a beer, too, perhaps in one of the new Sam Adam's glasses (I'd offer him a dram of whiskey, but he's not a fan of straight spirits).

Johnny Prevails writes:  Righteous work sir, Way to make it. hows the ole back?

The Mad Pigeon:  Actually, I'm doing pretty damn good!  Back in August I told the doc I didn't want any more activity restrictions:  I was tired of laying around in pain like a sack of wet birdseed.  In other words, I took control of myself back.

Since then I've lost ~20 pounds, run 12-16 miles a week, lift, hike, and perform other physical tasks that, this time last year, were faint memories.  In fact, just this afternoon I walked to the Walmart and back (pardon the pun) to pick up a few items rather than drive the 3 or so mile round trip distance.

I'm still in some pain, but it's nowhere near as bad as it was just a few months ago; I'm still cognizant of risk and have no idea what the long term holds for me, but being sedentary certainly won't help.

Now for two unrelated notes:

To start, here's a first:  someone shook my hand and thanked me for serving the other day outside of a Whole Foods Market!  Might not seem a big deal to some readers, but to put it in perspective when I was stationed at Hanscom AFB near Boston we had a place nearby called Bread and Circus, which is almost identical to a Whole Foods Market.  If went into the B&C in uniform, people would avoid me and avert their eyes (the parking lot full of Saab's and Volvo's should've tipped me off).

So to get a handshake outside of a grocery store that's a bastion of liberalism?  Yeah, that was mint.

Second, we went out to dinner last night and saw a guy dressed like Santa watching the game and drinking a beer at th bar.    I suppose Santa has a life outside of supervising elves, but I imagine such a scene might traumatize a child.  :-P

Why Scotch Made me the Pigeon I am Today!

Hey, we got ourselves a Bowl!

Academy accepts bid to Armed Forces Bowl

11/27/2007 - FORT WORTH, Texas (AFPN) -- U.S. Air Force Academy officials have accepted a bid to play in the Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl on New Year's Eve at Fort Worth, Texas.

The Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl, an ESPN regional television owned-and-operated event, will be aired at 11:30 a.m. CST on ESPN, live from Amon G. Carter Stadium.

The previous four Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl games have been played on December 23 with the University of Utah defeating the University of Tulsa 25-13 last year.

"We are thrilled to have the Air Force Academy as the Mountain West Conference's representative in the 2007 game," said Tom Starr, the executive director of the Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl. "With our military theme, what better way is there to honor the armed forces by having an Academy play in our game. With nine wins and a strong finish to their season, the Falcons will bring an exciting brand of football to Amon G. Carter Stadium on New Year's Eve."

With three-straight wins and six victories in their last seven games to end the 2007 season, the Falcons are the first school since the inaugural Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl game in 2003 to enter the Amon G. Carter Stadium game with more than seven regular-season wins. The Academy is currently 9-3 this fall after posting a 55-23 win at home Nov. 18 over San Diego State.

The 9-3 record is Air Force's first winning season since posting a 7-5 mark in 2003. The Falcons' six wins in Mountain West Conference play is their most ever and best league record since finishing the 1998 season with a 7-1 record in the Western Athletic Conference.

Read the rest on Air Force Link

Go Air Force!

Air Force Academy Chapel, by Walter Netsch/ SOM, at Colorado Springs, Colorado, 1956 to 1962. Photo by William A. Yokel. © William A. Yokel, available from Artifice Images

(say what you will about the architecture of the place - for some reason, everytime I see the damn chapel, all I can think of is this music.  You couldn't march during Noon Meal Formation to it though)

You know, I think everyone who's ever gone to the Blue Zoo (or Hudson High or U. of Squid for that matter) goes through different "stages" of love and hate relationships with the place after they've left it.  The earliest phase is wearing the college sweater or t-shirt of ANY SCHOOL BUT the one you went to (though the haircuts and early lack of socialization tends to give it away).  Some folks loved every minute of it (no lie).  Some folks wonder if going there was the worst mistake they ever made, some never question it, some would do over again if they had to...

(sidebar: PUDS:  n: urban legend, "Post-USAFA Dream Syndrome" - surprisingly widely reported event prominent in the first year or two post graduation, where the patient suffers a "dream within a dream", straight out of the movies.  The individual "awakens" in his or her old dorm room, usually to the sound of reveille or "calling minutes" with the delusion that a) he's still a cadet and has been having one funky-ass dream or b) "something happened" some admin foul-up or whatever, they have to repeat some or all of their Academy experience.  It is usually the later which causes a cold sweat-inducing rapid transition from sleep to full awareness.  The former might be better classified as a nightmare, as it can go on for what seems like hours before the "cadet" realizes his dream state and wakes himself up.  "Vision Quest" this is not.)

I'll be honest, it was only in the last two years or so that I wanted to get myself some football memorabilia (sweater, the standard stuff), hang up some old photos, my class print, and take updated pictures of the place again.  Meeting antitool (our erstwhile new full-time contributor) when I was up there for eye surgery and getting a "old decrepit veteran's" tour of the place while I reminisced on the "brown shoe days" was a hoot, though I really doubt antitool found it so ;)

Also, your opinion of the place has a lot to do with what you

1) think the role of intercollegiate NCAA sports should be at a federal military service academy

2) how you perceive the tug-og-war between preparing military officers for service and providing a degree-granting college education

3) believe about how the place conducts military training;  whether it succeeds "in spite of" or "because of" the way it's done, or some combination thereof

I've got plenty of opinions on how I would run the place, naturally.  I'm proud as all hell I went and graduated.  These days I don't dwell on the past so much, and seeing the Falcons return to some football prominence in the last year has stirred up some nostalgia, especially with a reunion beginning to circle overheard....

I still get hives everytime I go through North or South Gate though.

Polishing Up the Apple in Applebee’s

NY Times:  Despite being the largest casual dining chain in America, Applebee’s International has long tried to position itself as a local gathering place. Its theme, “Eatin’ good in the neighborhood,” is reinforced by the décor of its restaurants, which can include pictures of local police officers and firefighters and memorabilia from regional sports teams.

But casual dining chains have had their problems lately, with sales softening as budget-conscious consumers trade down. Now Applebee’s, which leads the estimated $70 billion category that also includes Ruby Tuesday and T.G.I. Friday’s, is revamping its approach by trying to appeal to a new generation. And it starts with a sass-talking apple.

On Sunday, Applebee’s will start a rebranding campaign that includes a wide-reaching advertising effort, new logo, new uniforms, redesigned restaurants and a new theme, “Together is good.” The campaign is the first work from Applebee’s new creative agency, McCann Erickson Worldwide, since Applebee’s shifted its creative account there after a review in which the incumbent, Draft FCB, declined to take part.

The star of the new commercials is a Red Delicious apple, given voice by the wisecracking comedian Wanda Sykes, who will chastise people eating at their desks or sending text messages to friends on a park bench, imploring them instead to gather with friends and family at Applebee’s for “the flavors that bring people together.”

The hope is to build on the image of Applebee’s as a neighborhood hotspot, but update it for a world where relationships are dominated by Treos, cellphones and BlackBerrys.  “We’re going to be the advocate for people ‘togetherizing,’” said Lori Senecal, New York general manager at McCann Erickson, using a made-up word to describe the campaign.  CONTINUED

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I'm not normally fond of marketing campaigns (i.e. events designed to separate my money from my wallet), and if I ate at Applebee's everyday I'd be fat and broke in no time (the food is good, though).

But I like the point they're getting at:  put down the damn cellphone and talk to someone face-to-face for a change--and preferably over a beer.

For me, there are few better things in life than enjoying a meal with friends.  I like the gregariousness, the companionship, the philosophies delved and theories trashed as mugs pile up on the table. 

Unfortunately we can't go out for lunch much at work since it takes 20 minutes just to get off base.  But we still regularly gather in the break room to break bread and tall tales with each other (with the occasional take-out run to Chiptole).

Furthermore, this week I'll be sending out my annual "come to my roost for thanksgiving" invitation for anyone who has no where to go and no one to share the day with.

Anyways, in a world full of faceless electronic communication and painfully saturating advertisements, I give this one two thumbs up!  Or pigeon claws, if you will.

Your Very Own... er... Rockies World Series Ticket!

Now THAT'S funny!

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